God Bless America

Here's To You, Uncle Sam!

by: Dick Pickles

Let's start be asking what the following have in common: Super-Sizing, Reality TV, Gas-Guzzling SUVs, Obesity, Game Shows, Women in Bikini's Shooting Guns, Bulldozers, Strip Clubs.

Thats right; they all represent my favorite things about being American. Of course, it goes hand in hand that the other thing that they have in common is that they are all excessive.

Its time that we add another item to that list of greatness. So step aside apple pie. You had a good run as our national food, but I'm proposing that anything that represents our great land must include bacon and cheese...and lots of it. So behold KFC's new invention: The Double Down.

For those who live without a TV or internet access (I'm looking at your France), this "sandwich" is two large pieces of boneless fried chicken breast with two kinds of cheese, lots of bacon, and "Colonel's Sauce" in between them. It is sloppy, melty, cheesey, salty, and most of all it is delicious. I'm also enamoured by this product because hearing double down reminds me of blackjack and the casinos that represent another great American pastime. It doesn't come without its share of downside as it costs $4.99 just for the sandwich, which seems a little pricey to me. I'm also disapointed b/c it is offered in a grilled chicken variety. I'm extremely upset with anyone (probably a Canadian) who would order this type of meal without experiencing it as it was meant to be in true American form.

After devouring this beast in a short period of time my only real question is how did Burger King not think of this idea first? It seems right up their alley.

Well, stay tuned and I'm sure that our industrial giant of a country will continue to evolve and before you know it you will see ads for BK's new Triple Down with extra cheese, hot suace, and fries in the middle.

...and the home of the brave.

TACO BELL'S PACIFIC SHRIMP TACO

The Smell Between Your Mom's Legs

by: Dick Pickles

Upon seeing that Taco Bell had finally decided to cross through and make an attempt at seafood I knew that I had to try it. I mean, its nice to see that Rex Ryan has a healthy option when dining. Going into this experience I was fully expecting the worst and even ordered a separate meal in case this was so horrid that I could not stomach it.

As expected, The Bell overwhelmed the shrimp with spices to the point that you could barely tell what you were eating. With only the slightest hint of ocean flavor leaking through, the shrimp could have been anything - and I was thankful for this. Unexpectedly, Taco Bell knows not to break the unwritten rule of mixing seafood with cheese. Also on a positive note is that the avocado sauce had a nice hint of lime and would work well with shrimp on any taco.

Overall I must say that I was pleasantly surprised with the final product. I won't ever order it again because it is more expensive ($2.99) than just about any other offering that Taco Bell has. Still, there is a morbid curiosity about a shrimp taco from Taco Bell that I can only compare to the urge to see a dead body. I know I shouldn't want to...but I to. I mean look at the two pictures I took of it and try to resist...

THE SWEET ACTION STRIKES BACK

Sweetactionpicks is back in action to throw some cash into your pocket!!!

First - An apology to the loyal readers who have been checking in to no new articles. The sweetactionpicks.com team will try to put up at least one weekly post.

Second - A congratulations to Jesse Cyr from Buttfuck, Maine for winning the season-long NFL pick 'em challenge. Jesse recieved an engraved beer can trophy similar to the one below. The final standings were:

1. Jesse Cyr

2. The sweetactionpicks.com Oracle

3. Matt Butler

Third - To kick off the return to excitement let's start with a NCAA bracket contest!!! To sign up go to Yahoo! Sports and use the following login information:

Group ID#: 136299

Password: burkhardtlovescock

Rules:

• All scoring will follow the progressive scoring format. This means that a correct pick in round 1 is worth 1 point; a correct pick in round 2 is worth 2 points; a correct pick in round 3 is worth 3 points; etc.
• The buy-in will be $20. We will operate on the honor system where the checks are mailed at the conclusion of the tournament. This makes things a lot easier for me.
• The payouts will be determined after the total number of participants are determinned. If there are ten (10) or less people then 2nd place will get there money back and 1st place will take the rest. If there are eleven (11) to twenty (20) entries then 3rd place will get their money back and 1st place will get 75% and 2nd place will get 25%. If there is greater than twenty (20) entries then a different payout structure will be established.
• Entry names may not be boring.
• People can fill out as many entries as they wish as long as they understand that each bracket will cost $20.
• Burkhardt loves the post office because people are always saying, "stick it in the mail".

All entries are due in before the games begin on Thursday. I'd suggest to get it in by Wednesday night to be safe.

I think Coach Williams can feel the tension.