After a well-deserved sabbatical I can't think of a better sandwich to make my triumphant return with than the McDonald's Lobster Roll. I'd like to thank all of my fans for their unwavering support during the downtime. To thank every one of our potentially dozen(s) of readers I'm coming up with a creative contest in the near future. Without further adieu...
When I rolled up to the drive-thru window I was delighted to hear the first words through the static filled intercom were "Welcome to McDonald's. Would you like to try a lobster roll?". When I gleefully responded with an enthusiastic "YES I WOULD!" the voice on the other end sounded so surprised that he lost his train of through. You see - I live in Massachusetts where the idea of going to McDonald's for a lobster roll is like going to Mexico and hitting up a Taco Bell, traveling to China and settling for Panda Express, or going to visit Sean Tate and ordering an O'Douls. You get the point. Let's just say that I don't think they sell a lot of these.
After ordering I pulled around and waited in my car. It was 90 degrees on this hot summer day so the anticipation of sinking my teeth into a cool, satisfying lobster roll sounded sublime. I pulled around, paid the man a hefty sum for fast food, waiting patiently as they hand shucked a fresh New England lobster*, and grabbed the paper bag.
When I opened it here is what I received:
This of course led me to more questions than answers. For instance, why does my lobster only fill half the roll? What sort of genetic defect did this lobster have to cause its claw to be so awkwardly small? What deformed sea animal from the deep ocean floor am I about to really chow down on? Or is it actually just tofu with pink sprinkles? I had no idea what I was about eat, but I did know that my forehead with pooling with sweat and my insides were trembling with fear.
For comparisons sake - here is what the ad looks like:
Notice that both have the signature "lobster claw" on top. Its just that one of them looks like a lobster claw and the other looks like a mystery sea creature.
The sandwich itself was not terrible, but it was definitely the worst lobster roll I've ever eaten. The picture does not do it justice, but there was significantly more lettuce than lobster on this roll. You'd bite through a small amount of meat and it would lead you to half a head of iceberg lettuce. At least I can check this off my bucket list!
For anyone who was worried that I didn't get my fast food fix in you should not fret...I ordered a 2 cheeseburger meal to supplement my appetite. An experienced fast-fooder like myself wouldn't make that kind of mistake on such a risky promotional product.
Pros: I thought it would be swimming in mayo and it was not
Cons: everything else
Rating: 1 out of 5 Pickles
*ok, ok. They cut open a plastic bag
