KFC Grilled Chicken

OUTRAGED!
by Dick Pickles

There are only two things that really piss me off. The first is when someone makes fun of my name. There is nothing funny about being named Dick Pickles. The second is bad fast food...and I'm really pissed right now!!!

In KFC's latest attempt to reach out to the "healthy market" they have failed as miserably as Ryan Leaf's career. Colonel Sanders must be rolling over in his grave right now like a epileptic.

First, let me start with the sides: They were cold. The cheese in the mac and cheese was a disgusting excuse for even a powder based cheese substitute. The potato wedges were not cooked long enough to be crispy. Without that crunch, they are nothing more than a soggy mess of Idaho and lost all appeal. In fairness, the biscuit was cooked perfectly and flaked very nicely.

Now, onto the chicken...

Let me start by informing you that the chicken is not in fact "grilled". Unless my taste buds were lying to me, it was baked chicken that was put into a panini press to give it grill marks. Next, I never realized how small KFC pieces of chicken are without all that fried goodness smothering them. Naturally, I order the dark meat option of a drumstick and thigh, but the amount of chicken that was given to me was not enough to fill a worthless midget. The redeeming quality of the chicken was that it was served promptly, and was very hot.

Despite the overall disapointment that surrounded this meal, there were three bright points that I would like to highlight:

1) It must be April Vacation for highschools in the area because the restaurant was packed with the Hudson softball team; filled with ripe girls between the ages of 15-18. My instructions to some of these ladies: grow some, then dump 'em out.

2) My meal ended nicely because I was smart enough to order two Tacos (this location is a KFC/Taco Bell).

3) Think of the health benefits. As you can see below, Lady Mooseknuckle turned into a prime-time Dump 'em Out candidate after just one week of eating the healthier alternative.

The moral of this story is that if you are going to go for a chicken that isn't fried, go to one of the pros. I suggest Boston Market or Pollo Loco if one is in your area.

Good Chicken is sweet action! Bad Chicken causes the hate crimes!