AND THE WINNER IS...

I would like to thank everyone for there submissions (ever though many of them were terrible and required no thought; c'mon d-bags). In the illustrious history of sweetactionpicks.com we have never had a contest that has received so much buzz and interest. I will not be writing extensively on the burger but instead will tell you that once I got around the daunting task of fitting my mouth around it, the experience was divine. I strongly recommend this sandwich to anyone with a big appetite.

(that expression you see is pure joy)

Since there was no one entry that came through as a clear cut winner, I created a grading system based upon each category of offensiveness, creativity, and humor worth five points each.

Now, I will go through each entry from worst to first:

The How's Ya Fathah? (0,0,0), 0 Points: This entry was not offensive, funny, or creative. It earned the distinction of worst entry!

The PapelBurger (0,1,0), 1 Point: While I appreciate any reference to my beloved Sox closer, this was not the competition for this entry.

You Alone Made Us Lose To The Colts In January 2007 By Not Coming To My House To Watch The Game Like You Did For The Other Two Playoff Games Where We Were Underdogs But Still Managed To Win!!! (0,0,1), 1 Point: This is probably only funny to me because I've been getting shit for this ever since that game.

Holcomb's Worst Idea (After Pink Shirts) (0,0,1), 1 Point: This entry was a personal attack at my impeccable fashion sense. For shame.
The Peter Griffin (0,0,1), 1 Point

The Awesome-O (0,1,1), 2 Points

The McGangbang Lite (2,0,0), 2 Points: While this entry gained some points for its offensiveness, I feel that I should have deducted points for creativeness. A retard with head trauma could have come up with this entry

The McPoopypants (1,1,1), 3 Points: Poop is funny.

The McStreetWalker (1,1,1), 3 Points

The Suck It (2,0,1), 3 Points

The Meatwad (0,2,1), 3 Points: If anyone isn't aware this entry is a reference to the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force which is a personal favorite of mine and that explains why it reached 3 points.

The Poopwich (1,2,2), 5 Points: Poop is still funny.

The Obesewich (1,3,2), 6 Points

Daddy Daycare (1,2,5), 8 Points: This entry makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but everyone who I've spoken with has laughed when they hear it. Therefore, it achieved a respectable score by receiving a perfect 5 for being humorous.

Emannual Lewis Floating In The Toilet (2,3,3), 8 Points:

The Interracial Tall Stack (3,2,3), 8 Points: A solid, yet unspectacular overall entry.

Big “McGangbang” Machine (Pronounced Mak-sheeen) (1,5,3), 9 Points: Carried by its creativity, I loved the use of the McGangbang and the pronunciation to differentiate this entry. Still, needed to be a lot more offensive to catch my attention.

The McManus Burger (1,5,3), 9 Points: This one is hilarious to those who attended Bromfield but lacks the commercial appeal to be a serious contender.

The Richard McBeef (3,5,1), 9 Points: Google Richard McBeef if you don't know why this scored so high.

A N's Last Meal (5,2,3), 10 Points

The Plunger Stimulus Package (1,5,4), 10 Points

Ruben Studdard In A Bun (2,3,5), 10 Points: Cause he's fat...get it?

Shaq's Meat Missile (5,2,3), 10 Points: Cause he's got a huge cock...get it?

4 All Beef Patties, Special Sauce and Diarrhea (3,4,4), 11 Points: This may have been able to score higher if the last line in fact came true.

Colon Mustard's Last Stand (2,5,4), 11 Points: Just a great entry. Loved everything about it.

The Liza McSmelly (2,5,4), 11 Points: This entry has everything but offensiveness. Still, should the winner be unable to fulfill her duties the Liza McSmelly will take the pageant crown as the first runner-up.

The McBukkake (5,3,4), 12 Points: Congratulations to TIM from NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK for winning the contest with this entry. It would have been a travesty to not award this to an entry that started with "Mc" and this was by far the best of the bunch and led the way in terms of offensiveness. You will receive your t-shirt in the next 6-8 weeks (or when I see you).

-Dick Pickles