As I'm sure you've all heard, there has been a tremendous amount of buzz going around the World Wide Web concerning sweetactionpicks.com and its success. In an effort to thank all of our fans we decided that it would be nice to recognize some of the comments that you have sent us showing your appreciation of the site. Thanks to everyone who has written in!!!
-Dick Pickles; Senior Writer, sweetactionpicks.com
"Sweetactionpicks makes me laugh so hard my dick hurts. When I need advice on healthy eating, why I should beat puppies during football season, or where Sawyer is blowing guys for bus fare, I always go to sweetactionpicks.com. I've also learned the best way to invest my money by blindly throwing my savings behind the Pick Guru's Lock-of-the-WeekTM. Its free money and advice! If you don't like it, then fuck you!" 
-S. Tate; Phoenix, AZ
"There are only two things in this world that I do more than go to the gym. One is cry in the dark like a coward. The second is reading sweetactionpicks.com so that I can gather my gambling knowledge to win money so I can purchase more roofies and steroids."
-C. Burkhardt; Charlestown, MA
"Being a homosexual male isn't very easy in this society and hiding it is even harder. It is for this reason that I go out out of my way to act masculine and pretend that I like sports. However, picking up and showing my knowledge to others isn't easy since the gay gene has taken over and infected my brain. Thanks to sweetactionpicks.com I have a place that I can learn about sports and stay in the closet for at least a few more years. Thanks Dick Pickles!"
-T. Sawyer; Sommerville, MA
"As a woman I was born with an inability to comprehend or play sports with any level of effectiveness. My pea-sized brain* and floppy vagina constantly get in the way. Sure, people will humor me and say that I'm ok but they are clearly lying just to be nice. I am especially terrible at fantasy sports but now that I have sweetactionpicks.com to go to for advice I will find all the fantasy help I need. Its so good it can even bail me out!!! ;)"
-C. Vestal; Sommerville, MA
"As a pompous city dweller, I find it increasingly difficult to find common ground with Joe Everyman and Stan Bluecollar. This divide is exacerbated by the fact that I have a fetish for Japanese choirboys, and enjoy wearing women's shoes and a man purse. But thanks to Sweetactionpicks, I've been able to reconnect with my fellow man by talking shop about the Football matches. Thank you Sweetactionpicks!"
-T. O'Brien; New York City, New York
"Not long ago I made the mistake of gift-wrapping my testicles for a woman to hang on to for the rest of my life. I will never see these again. Without them I have no idea how to (nor am I allowed to) enjoy the finer things in life such as binge eating fast food and betting my own money without written approval. The two things I have going for me are that I live in the delightful state of Delaware and that sweetactionpicks.com has allowed me to live vicariously through others who still have far more freedom than I'll ever be able to enjoy again."
-M. Butler; Wilmington, DE
"When I need gambling advice, I always know what to do! I call my mom and have her pay the cable company so they turn the Internet back on, then log onto Sweetactionpicks to get the most up-to-date gambling strategy. And the only thing Sweetactionpicks does better than advising you what to do with your own money, is advising you what to do with your parent’s cash! It’s also a great reprieve from endlessly e-mailing disease ridden, scurvy ravaged stalkers from CraigsList. I credit Sweetactionpicks for giving me a reason to continue to live . . . without it I have nothing."
-D. Simollardes; Waltham, MA
*Its Science. Look it up.
2 comments:
do you think i look like don imus??
NO. He is offensive to women and what was written could potentially be perceived as offensive to women.
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